


i'm losing a piece of me

by boosol



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Internal Conflict, M/M, Omega Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups, Omega Verse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pack Dynamics, Pack Feels, Presenting Gone Wrong, Scenting, Self-Hatred, Trans Character, it's a thing i thought i should tag just in case, soonie being trans isn't the focus of the fic okaY, yo this gets kinda dark ngl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 14:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20818472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boosol/pseuds/boosol
Summary: alpha, alpha, alpha—that's what Choi Seungcheol will be—no, it's what he has to be.





	i'm losing a piece of me

**Author's Note:**

> i was having uwu hours but then they became emo hours lol
> 
> and, yes, soonie is trans and uses she/her pronouns, so if that's not ur thing, pls just click away

The whiny sound of sneakers rubbing against the polished hardwood flooring makes Seungcheol's head pound rather painfully, sharp, gritty squeaks ingraining deep into his already fogged brain, the startling fluorescent lighting making his vision blur slightly. His footwork dragging with each burst of forced movement, sluggish even in his own eyes. Breath coming out in short pants, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple, brow damp. His limbs protesting, aching and sore, smooth muscle straining underneath flush skin.

Soonyoung wriggling out of her soaked sweatshirt with a small hum, her tank top clinging to her body, accenting her soft tummy in the cutest of ways. The thick, sparkly eyeliner Jun had dolled her up in all smudged, though Seungcheol knows she probably doesn't care in the least, just happy enough to be herself. Her eyes curved into half-moons as she laughs, motioning to Mingyu to pause the music, leaning against the practice room's mirror tiredly, and if you squinted enough, you could even say she was swaying slightly, though not that she'd admit to that of course.

"Water break!" She calls, uncapping her bottle, raising it up to her lips with an amused grin as Seungkwan plops to the floor, dragging Hansol down with him, the youngest omega squawking in surprise. Jeonghan snorting from the sidelines, fixing his hair clip hastily, pining his bangs back with a satisfying snap. Jisoo sinking into a squat beside him, hands on his thighs as he rocks his hips awkwardly, while Seungcheol just stands there dazed and confused. Wearily taking tentative sips from his own bottle, the slick condensation dripping off his fingertips and splattering to the ground. Unable to shake the burning feeling from his body, the suffocating heat hugging every inch of it in all the wrong places. Not to mention the pooling nausea bubbling in his stomach, like red-hot lava threatening to spew forth, a fire burning inside him.

"Chop chop everyone! We're starting again in two!" Soonyoung loudly announces, stretching her arms out as everyone collectively groans in unison, Minghao running a hand through his damp locks with an expression of mild disgust, mumbling something about needing an hour long shower after this. Seokmin checking something on his phone off to the edge, Chan having slung an arm around his waist with a cheeky grin, the baby alpha's sweet scent of lilac tickling everyone's noses, the older of the two making a mental note to inform their manager to up the dosage on their maknae's suppressants.

Seungcheol barely registering Soonyoung's bark to cue the music, his body moving on its own accord, like a puppet ruled by strings, really only aware of the shooting pangs rumbling in his lower belly. Which causes him to slip up more times than he can count, and he's quite honestly surprised Soonyoung hasn't gotten onto him yet, perhaps too into it all to notice. Whatever, Seungcheol definitely isn't complaining.

Blush rising high on his collar when he feels Jeonghan's eyes on him, now making a serious effort to keep up to everyone else's pace, but it's oddly difficult to do so, as it feels as though he's wading through heavy tar, ankles chained to the ground. Pushing his hand into his tummy when the cramping peaks, biting back a groan as they dip down into a move that puts pressure on his back, thus also causing even more fucking pain to his tender abdomen. Wincing when he catches a glimpse of himself in the huge ass mirror, his skin looking grossly clammy and pale, dark, purple-ish bags resting under his glossy eyes, hell, even his fucking hair appeared dead (though one could argue that was due to all the dying it's endured). In short, he looked like shit, which coincidentally, he also felt like too.

The stabbing sensations in his gut feeling as though someone had plunged a knife inside him, left it lodged in there for a short while, before twisting it around with all their might. _Fucking ouch._

But Seungcheol pushes it all aside, gritting his teeth as he's determined not to fall behind, already having found himself to be slacking off in this week's previous practices, Soonyoung's disappointed look always getting to him no matter how much she assured him that it really was perfectly alright. And it seems to be working, as they're so fucking close to finishing up the second to last routine, relief just minutes away, when everything goes horribly,_ horribly_ wrong.

Because the next thing Seungcheol knows is that the world is actually fucking spinning and it really, _really_ hurts all over, the distant sound of someone shouting in panic only making the discomfort a million times worse, blood roaring in his ears, eyesight dimming. And then there's a flash of bright colors before everything fades to black.

\---

"Shit shit _shit!_" Jeonghan mutters under his breath as he frantically paces up and down the aisles of the local drugstore, Jun having taken over the current predicament when shit hit the fan shortly after Seungcheol collapsed, quickly ushering all the alphas out of the room as he scooped the newly presented omega into his arms, frowning when he realized just how light Seungcheol was. The Chinese omega shocked that his body could even sustain a heat to begin with, as cycles usually took a lot out of one physically, not to mention the mental toll of course. Though there really wasn't much time to dwell on that, as they had to focus on taming the intensity of Seungcheol's heat itself, Jun sending Jeonghan to fetch some standard painkillers and a heating pad or two, as their ass of a manager wasn't picking up the phone. Not that said items would do all that much, but it was better than nothing Jun supposes, anything is really.

Jeonghan abruptly stopping to stand dumbly in front of row after row of medications, fingers twitching as he scans the labels for the go-to ibuprofen and whatnot, unsure if he should be getting the regular shit or the stuff specifically designed for menstrual cramps, as he'd recalled his sex ed teacher saying that's what heat pains essentially were anyway. 

Deciding not to risk it, he grabs a couple boxes of both Pamprin and Midol, along with some normal bottles of Advil, hastily throwing them in the shopping basket without so much as a second thought, landing atop the packaged heating pads with a dull thud, making a beeline for the checkout when his phone dings in his pocket.

**July: **hurry up

And so he does exactly that, plopping the items down in front of the cashier with a suppressed growl, shifting his weight from side to side as he watches them being scanned and bagged, the omega cashier casting him nervous glances, picking up on the slightly frustrated energy radiating from the alpha, no doubt Jeonghan's scent having soured. Simply muttering a rushed apology to the frightened girl as he practically runs out, heart pounding against his ribcage, an awful sinking feeling churning in his stomach, scared of what is to face him back at the dorms, mind automatically heading straight towards the worst possible situation. But it'll be okay, everything will be just fine, Jeonghan fervently reassures himself as he speed-walks down the street, icy wind stinging at his cheeks.

...Right?

Yes, yes of course.

\---

Seungcheol whimpers as he buries his face into his sweat slicked pillow, fingers curling around the cotton material as another raw pang of agony runs through him, thighs trembling under the sheets of the scrambled up nest, knocking against each other in an uncomfortable manner. Hansol pressed against his side, using his peachy scent to try to help tone down the intensity of it all, way too familiar with what the older is currently experiencing.

"_Hurts,_" Is all the freshly presented omega manages to utter, yelping when something wet runs down the inside of his legs, embarrassment coloring his face, shifting away from the younger male, putting a sizable dent in between them.

"Hyung?" Hansol softly asks, worry laden in his voice, scooting closer to Seungcheol, nuzzling into his nape, places gentle kisses to the damp skin, well, until Seungcheol pushes him off that is.

"Cheol-" He starts, but Seungcheol stops him with a sharp grip to the wrist, his breathing labored as he weakly holds onto the other, hands shaking.

"_Need._" Seungcheol pants, bringing Hansol's own hand dangerously close to his—oh, _oh_, fuck fuck _fuck_. Hansol's heart beating wildly against his ribcage, as much to his dismay, his own body was starting to react, making him internally scream. Jun's firm refusal to allow him to be near the older omega while he was in heat suddenly making perfect sense to him. The tugging hotness coiling in Hansol's own lower belly bordering on low-key nauseating, his mind a total blur of rationality, his inner omega torn between wanting to submit to an alpha, while also wanting nothing more than to take care of his fellow omega in every possible sense out there. _Yes,_ fucking included.

But Hansol is aware of what is and what _isn't _consent—_he of all people holds this close to heart_—so he wriggles out of the nest, cheeks feverish in what he hopes isn't a sign of pre-heat, and runs off to find the others.

\---

"He was pissed that Cheol presented as an omega," Jisoo murmurs in a soft whisper, toying with the ring on his finger, Soonyoung's arm wrapped around his shoulders while Chan watches his hyungs with wide eyes, all the alphas in the dorm having been moved to the vacant room next to Jihoon's own. Said male silently fuming as he too listens in, Jeonghan still talking with Jun just outside the door, but they all knew the oldest alpha would be just, if not more, as upset.

"It's like when Soonie didn't present as an omega," Jisoo continues, "He even used the same tone and everything." Soonyoung wincing at the memory, Jihoon's eyes flickering up to met hers, Chan placing a hand on her thigh in a small gesture of comfort, Soonyoung shooting them a weak smile. The pack as a whole fearing the reaction she'd get when (if ever really) she'd come out to their manager.

"He's a fucking dick," Jihoon butts in, jaw clenched in anger, fists balled too, his scent bristled. "Seungcheol couldn't help his own goddamn biology!" No doubt remembering the time he _himself_ was almost put on omega hormones simply because he didn't fit the classic "alpha" look, his height and body structure too feminine to be the stereotypical, manly man alpha. Their manager only backing down when Jihoon threatened to straight up leave the group, teeth bared in warning.

Chan staring down at his feet, guilt nicking him, as he was one of the only alphas who wasn't patronized for being himself, instead being praised for his sub-gender. As almost all maknaes ended up as either an omega or a beta, most companies rarely ever seeing an alpha at all in their youngest members, let alone the maknae. Though the very title itself feeling like a heavy burden placed upon him, one he can't change nor escape, a label he wishes he didn't have to live with. But if it makes others proud of him, Chan will do _everything_ to perfect the name he wears.

\---

"Are you scared of presenting?" Seungkwan asks as the sound of footsteps can be heard from upstairs, the ones who have yet to come into themselves feeling terribly out of place as this goes on, the slight twinge of jealously they're all experiencing not being voiced, though still universally understood all the same.

"No, not really," Minghao answers in a clipped tone, one that so very obviously cares, his arms crossed over his chest, Mingyu rolling his eyes at the lanky boy, a small snort earning him a glare and the middle finger. The tallest member a spot of concern for everyone in the pack, as Mingyu lacked any scent at all, not even the faintness that those who have yet to present usually carried. Something he'd pretend didn't bother him, covering up what he lacked with various sprays and whatnot. Concealer used to hide away the scratches to his broken scent gland, no one commenting on his tear streaked cheeks.

While Seokmin, who's nervously squished in between the bickering pair, just shrugs, truthfully not really caring about what he'd turn out to be. Wonwoo blocks them all out with his headphones as he plays something on his 3DS, the pack knowing what role he'd fill without so much as a second glance, the utterance of _alpha_ mouthed when he wasn't around. Like is was wrong to admit the very real and very possible reality that yet another alpha might blossom into the pack. _An alpha that will probably face rejection from those above them._

But oh boy does Seungkwan care, he cares so so _so_ much, probably more than can be considered healthy honestly. He's not dumb, he knows what the company wants, he knows the uneven ratio of omegas to alphas is just another problem that their manager doesn't want to have to deal with, _he knows_. And so he's dead set on presenting as an omega, his only reason being for the pack's sake, hell, every choice he makes is for the pack. Because when it's already written on paper, when his status is already printed by those superior to him, how can he_ not_ be what they want him to be?

**Author's Note:**

> i've been wanting to make another cheol-focused a/b/o fic for a while now, but i wasn't sure how to??? so i added in some sub-plots and bam, here's this mess :) also idk where all the angst came from, it just happened :/
> 
> anyways, if it's not too much trouble, i would love to know your thoughts on this fic!!!


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